Tête-a-Tête: An Entrepreneur’s Tips to his Compatriots

By: Habeeb Abdul

You are at it again. Filling your jotter with grand ideas. For your mind, this business na your thing. Mirrors for the blind, coffins for the living. Nothing wey you no fit sell. Osheyy! Abiodun Bezos. Lost child of Elon Musk. As per how you sabi, you write your plans with a defined structure. It makes perfect sense. But make I dash you small wisdom:

TIP 1: SEEK ATTENTION IN UNWILLING SPACES

You like to meet new people. In fact, you talk to yourself in gatherings, so that someone can reply you. Leemao. WhatsApp? Share your broadcasts to every person on your groups. No need to ask for permission. It’s unnecessary, plus, it takes too much time. Our business must launch. Besides, everybody loves it. They hate the thought of blocking you.

TIP 2: TURN SALESMANSHIP ON ITS HEAD

As a student-entrepreneur, the first thing you must do is impress your clients. Being a reputed Shakespeare in secondary school, it’s not a bad idea to send poetry as your broadcast messages. As thou doth adore the fragrance of Sicilian spices… Touché. After all, entrepreneurship is all about creative disruption. Also, remember to share thousand-word essays with your customers and call it copywriting. Don’t neglect to hype your products. They will always read. Every Bc is Bc no matter the length.

TIP 4: PERSONALISE IT EVEN WHEN THEY DON’T KNOW YOU

Customers want to feel loved. Never must they think that you don’t care. Sister, it’s money we are talking about here. Call them ‘dear’ every time they ask for a product. Say that you truly care about them. In all your doings, don’t skip the red heart emoji when they purchase. If they believe in real love, they will surely come back.

TIP 5: THE ENTREPRENEURIAL TITAN, EVERY INQUIRY IS A SALE

You see, clients can be funny people. They enter your DM without knowing what they want. And you must show it to them. When a client asks for the price and disappears, call incessantly to remind them they wanted something. If they don’t pick, text till they are tired and block you. Forget they were curious or couldn’t afford it. Who enters a market without buying stuff? Strange. Show them they must or we die here!

TIP 6: IT’S A BED OF ROSES, DUMMY (OR SKIP TO SEVEN)

Hmm. As a student-entrepreneur, there is only one wisdom you can believe in — you have ‘grace’, so it can’t go wrong. If you don’t have this at the back of your mind when you start a business, you will have to check yourself. As per school is a side hustle, your books don’t mind the neglect. You can lock them in your giant box to prevent damage. As for customers, those ones are chilled. They are very kind, so they won’t frustrate you. Little angels that they are. Even you, who says you can make mistakes? You were born unique, so you’ll always do things right. Tsk! How can you believe differently?

TIP 7: DON’T FORGET TO GIVE UP

Ah, soldier. It’s gotten a little tough. You should have seen it coming. Now, give up and go home… Applaudise! You went for the money.

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