Ayeye Toluwalope

Dear new Jaja Fan Club members, Hola ¿Como estas? That’s ‘hello, how are you?’ in Spanish. Well, you obviously do not care. No, you actually only care about being inducted into our very own JFC. Before we successfully induct you our recruits, below are small mentions from the list of things that you are to relate to as a member of the JFC; A few out of the many reasons why we love Jaja. Now, without further ado, let’s get right into this list!

JAJA IS GOD, REMEMBER THAT

Personally, I think that’s the favourite thing that we like about Jaja is its reception; its not-so-warm reception that manages to pull us in every time. I mean, we are humans; we’re people, and we like the hostility that more than half of Jaja throws our way; it is what has us going back there every single time.

EARLY BIRDS MAY BE HUNGRY BIRDS, BUT WHO CARES?

Do you know that a dedicated member of Jaja Fan Club is never late to Jaja whenever there’s a need to see a doctor? You must always be punctual, even if late is your middle name. As we all know, being punctual does not necessarily mean you would get attended to on time. Nope, it simply means you would have to sit around for two to three hours waiting to be called in. The good thing is that you’d get to sit under a canopy and enjoy its wonderful scenery. Isn’t that amazing? That means if you are terribly sick, and you can’t feel yourself; you get a special treatment under the canopy because Jaja knows how to treat its fans right.

ALUWE: YOU FIT JABO INSIDE WATER

First things first, I have to let you know that if you’ve never visited Jaja’s lavatory, I’m sorry, you have to be kicked out of our dear Jaja Fan Club ASAP. But if you have, my dear friend, then you’d most likely smile at the fond utopian memory of Jaja’s toilets. And just for extra credit, you’d get a badge if you have fallen down in the pool of water inside the female toilet. Let’s take a short memory tour of the female lavatory.

First, you get in through the main door and immediately you step in, your feet get submerged in water, but hey, you aren’t complaining at all. I mean, that’s the point of it all; you like the feel of toilet water all over your feet. Now you notice the entire stalls and you can’t help but smile. Almost all of the doors are unhinged and just one wrong move, they are coming right off on your legs. Omo! This is the lie you think to yourself; Jaja just gives the right treatment. Now it’s time to use the toilet and you are overjoyed, since Jaja makes it a point to always keep its WCs clean, we all know that’s all that matters. Now you don use toilet finish, na time to wash hand because as good JFCite you must always practice good hygiene. The first sink by the right is preoccupied and filled to the brim with huge stones – there’s even a sign on its mirror that says ‘do not use this tap for now’. The remaining two sinks with no signs attached have dripping water but not rushing water.  You remember the tap under the first sink, and you quickly bend to wash your hand. Now that your hands are cleaned, you feel like a good JFCite and you jump a bit, only to slip and fall into the toilet water. You laugh, o ti jabo sinu omi. 

BONUS: MP (THIS IS EXCLUSIVELY FOR THE LADIES)

Are you on your period? Do you feel the utmost unbearable pain in your leg, tummy, stomach etc.? Are the cramps too much for you to bear? If your answers to these questions are all yeses, well, you have some sort of luck because I have the right solution for you. 

I need you to get up. You heard me right, bestie. Get up and take a cab to Jaja; I promise all would be fine. You’d get such wonderful treatment and you’d get to feel unimportant because it is just menstrual cramps. I know that once in a while, we ladies need to be reminded that no matter the pain, these cramps are nothing and not important. Now that we have gone through this and established only few out of the many reasons we all love Jaja, I’d like to welcome you all to Jaja Fan Club. It is nice having new members. I hope you get impacted as members of this club. Until next time my people!

PS: do stay back for the item 7.