By: Ochi, Maduabuchi
A moment of silence for one of the greatest sports to ever grace the face of this planet. Because let me tell you, if we don’t fight to protect it, very soon it would become one of those other sports that supposedly exist within UI, like volleyball, or judo.
No one can argue that football is the best sport of all time, the GOAT of sports as they say. From the number of people who play matches (can you imagine a more perfect number than 22? like it was God sent), to the shape of the ball used to play it (how round!) to the various rules that are stated so clearly. You cannot but admire the great and brilliant minds that came up with the game (how many times have they ever argued about an offside? Its criteria are too clear for that).
If you look around the world, even to America where it is called the unholy name of soccer, you cannot deny the popularity of the sport, as it should rightly be. The reason we ought to applaud the sportswomen and men who allow for the myriad of celebrations of this perfect sport across the campus.
In the same way we have holidays marking special events that happen in Christianity celebrating the perfect work of Christ, so also do we have these competitions to celebrate the perfection of football not just globally but also locally. How can we not? Seals Cup, Deans Cup, Masters Cup, the sport has provided us with so many cups we can afford to give every Uite one. What a benevolence!
Which other sport on campus has such magnanimity? Such widespread devotion that it draws people so regularly like a religion, until it is the only thing on their mind. As it should be. We do not want any of those lesser sports making their way into the hearts and minds of our football faithfuls.
How can we as the first and the best think of turning our attention to anything other than the first and the best sport in all of existence? What do you mean by ‘not everyone likes football’? How can that be? The statement is as unbelievable as saying that not everyone believes in God. Such things don’t exist!
Unfortunately, we are already seeing this corruption of pure ideals taking place. The recently concluded Inter-faculty games, which included sports (I apply this term with much hesitation because only football is worthy of the tag) like chess (is that even a sport?) basically requires that all you do is perform high levels of risk calculations and strategy, judo and taekwondo (a sport that focuses not just on physical training of the body but also on the mental? That must be a joke), swimming (a sport that trains most of the muscles in the physical body? I didn’t know they were looking for fairy tales) among many others.
These jokes and rough plays that were lauded as sports in the Inter-faculty games, took away from the shining steeze that is football. An affront, that any real football fan should not take sitting down. This is the first of a long, known strategy. A strategy to dethrone football from its rightful place as the only sport that should exist at the University of Ibadan.
Slowly but surely, we’ll see the UI community become a deplorable space where there are thriving communities and competitions around sports that are not football. Where students who do not appreciate the absolute beauty of this gift from heaven, would have another place to go and gain the benefits of sporting activities, like witch covens that draw and entice people away from the fold.
Where the University would produce stars who go out into the real world and affirm the existence of these blips, mistaken definitely, by performing so excellently, people have no choice but to accept them. That would be the end of the world! We should never sit back and watch it happen!
It would be like the coming of the Antichrist that was prophesied by the scriptures, except this time, instead of requiring the mark of the beast, people would have other sport events to choose from in the school community. Imagine them saying things like, ‘the sports space in the university would be enriched’? How much richer can you not from the best sport?
Who have you ever heard complain of the countless articles, written by the countless Press organizations, giving another analysis of another football match in another football tournament that is being held on campus? No one! That is because that is as good as sports writing can get! Who needs all those other things when you can have more football than you can take? I mean sorry, you can never have too much football.
The point is rather clear. We need to gather together in solidarity against any form of ‘progress’ or ‘change’ and keep these guys who are pushing for the end times at bay. United together, there’s no way they can ever stop us. It’s checkmate!
