Specculus Species

You know, a wise man once said, “You can take a boy away from the streets, but you cannot take the streets away from the boy”. Now you know what happens when people like us – from the village – try to speak Queen’s English? That, dear students, is the current state of You-High. The You-High is that street boy trying to force oyibo vibes – Original Agbowo Harvard.  In this case, since the school has decided to act classy – by running a fully virtual session – the students have no choice but to follow suit.

Trust me, you are not the only JJC in this situation. In case you have been wondering how to behave in this virtual semester, OT full ground; just read on! These may be just the nitro you need to sustain you in this race for good GP. God no go shame us.

Lesson 1: You-High Said Character Is Important

As a bon a fide student of the You-High, I am sure you have not forgotten the emphasis the school places on character. In whatever class group you find yourself, you should show that you are a student of culture vis-à-vis regularly greeting your lecturer.

Note: This rule applies to all the students in a class, irrespective of the size of that class.

For instance

Lecturer: “Good morning, students.”

Now Imagine your lecturer greeting you, the proper behaviour is to respond. In this situation, do everything in your power to make your greetings count (don’t be daunted by the number of good mornings the group already). In some cases, if your lecturer coughs, it may mean something to the class. Out of respect, your response should be something like this “Thank you for coughing sir/ma, we really appreciate sir, God bless you.”

Remember to always add the “sir/ma” to whatever you do too (including your emojis — if you are permitted to use them).

Lesson 2: Lecturer Management System (LMS)

The You-high lecturers sometimes operate outside the borders of their jurisdiction. Somehow, the whole virtual learning system did not specifically structure out a check-and-balance system for these excesses. I mean, with all the synchronous and asynchronous and other virtual registers, there seems to be no part of it that checks discrepancies. As students of the fess and bess, duties mandate that we judge the situation correctly, infer and take action. That action is what the Lecturer Management System is all about.

Or, why else do you think the Zoom platforms have an option where someone else can host apart from the lecturer? Why do WhatsApp and Telegram groups have multiple admins – of course students included? Yeah, the goal is to keep in the lecturers when they want to go astray.

When faced with the following situations:

• A lecturer does not communicate clearly during a virtual class.
• A lecturer spends overtime in a virtual class (time is the soul of business, please).
• A lecturer has network issues (what did we pay technology fee for?).
• A lecturer is too boring with his style of presentation (this is a big red flag).

Duty demands that we – the students of the great You-High – be intuitive enough to keep them in check. Take over the class from them, if you can; lock them outside the class groups when you must, mute them from talking too much when you deem fit.  Those oldies cannot really do anything on their own, can they?

Lesson 3: Don’t Disappear amidst The Crowd

With this abrupt paradigm shift to virtual learning, it is very easy for any student to fade away in the vastness of it all. You can lose your presence and classmates and lecturers will forget you ever existed – even when you attend classes. You may even end up losing your score for attendance this way. Do you want to keep your presence during this virtual rock-and-roll? Here are some ways to go about it:

• Microphones are the best tools for achieving this. In case you want the lecturers and class mates to unfailingly notice your attendance in class, then use your microphone. Do not allow your voice to be taken away from you. Remember what Aribisala Aristotle said? A man without balls is better than a man without a voice. Dear students, use the microphones to amplify your voices, the power to mute and unmute is your hands. Use it well! Sometimes, you may not even need to cut into the lecturer’s speech to inform him that you are hearing him, just switch on your microphone and allow your baby sister or your father’s goats to do the magic for you. After all, the koko is for your microphone to function as a way of registering your presence.
• As a bonus advantage of microphones, you can lighten up the atmosphere by playing Fela in the background too. After all, learning is much better in a fun environment.
• Also, during your classes, show that your years of learning character is not a waste. In Zoom classes and Telegram pages, you must occasionally punctuate the class with “thank yous” and Yes sirs / mas. Who wouldn’t notice a student with manners?
• Finally, you cannot just be wasting your data in classes! Keep your business very visible, run adverts in the comment section of Zoom meetings. That way, you are making your lecturer aware of your multifaceted dedication to excellence. If a big lecturer notices your business, my brother, Chelum na highway oo.

Bonus Lesson: Because I Love You

Finally, this is a personal advice, because I love all the students of this University and I want the best for you all. When attending any virtual lectures, please dress up for the classes. Don’t just do; make sure your camera is always on to showcase your formal dressing. Information has reached me that those lecturers now secretly spy on us to note students that dress well. You can never be too sure, can you? Don’t take the risk; don your best dress to classes. This gives you all the confidence you need to carry you through the class – aside the extra mark you get, of course. Don’t say I didn’t tip you oh.

To adapt is every new circumstance like this is what will guarantee your continued existence as a student of this school. Remember! Virtual Tsunami is real oooo. To avoid that, I have gone through the pain of compiling this list of instructions. If you want your ride through this virtual semester to be as traffic-free as driving in front of You-High gate, you had better stick to them. A word for the wise is enough. I have given more than a word! Take action. Adios amigos!