By: Amazon

“I like the way I’m feeling now,

Omo, e get small thing wey dey stress me,

But, right now I’m chilling now, oh-oh-ohh…”

“Ehn! In a male restroom? You like what?”

Tonia can tell who the voice belongs to; she just turns around to confirm what she’s most certain of. She laughs.

“Sir, there’s no water in the female restroom.”

“Who told you that? Water runs there!” The voice, though serious, retains the characteristic affability which endears its owner to majority of students in the faculty.

“I and two other ladies just left the place as there’s no water there, so, we couldn’t use it. The taps are not running and there’s no water in any of the drums.”

“Really? I’ll talk to these women to see to that then. However, you shouldn’t be using this restroom. It’s a male… not just male but even men’s restroom.”

Tonia laughs softly as the new Faculty Sub-dean and two male students who are also laughing exit the restroom. She completes the washing of her footwear at one of the sinks at the outer part of the restroom and leaves the restroom, muttering “sorry” as she nearly collides with a guy at the main entrance.

“Wait, you just came out of this restroom?” Tonia nods and Efosa, who is even more surprised, asks again, “don’t you know it’s a male toilet?” She points at the sign which announces ‘MALE’ at the door. “The ladies’ is over there at that side.”

“I know. But, there’s no water there. What am I now supposed to do?” Tonia shrugs.

“Well, even I don’t know why that’s almost always the case with the place. As if that’s not enough, the place is always locked on weekends while the Gents’ is left opened. Makes me wonder if they believe that only males come to the faculty on weekends or something. I’ve never used the Gents’ as I don’t know how neat or safe it’ll be for use though, I always have to hold myself till I leave the faculty or go to the Chapel to use the restroom there.”

“Now, aside from the fact that suppressing the urge to answer nature’s call is even detrimental to your bladder and health generally, it’s not ideal to have to journey that far just to use the restroom. Not even when there’s one right here, but you know it’s almost useless, because, of what use at all is a restroom without water? It baffles me that they don’t put into consideration the fact that one can need to change her pad; are we expected to do that without water to clean up, or to just use one pad till we’re done here regardless of how many hours we have to spend here daily or even on weekends? To shock you, there’s always water running at the Gents’ even on weekends, and the drum will still all be filled to the brim. That’s where I’ve been using on weekends since urgency made me discover how comfortable it is for use. I just make sure to place a bucket of water behind the door of anyone I’m using so it can’t be pushed open from outside.”

“Tonia, Tonia! Ajeh, you dey motivate me!” Efosa becomes a bit serious again. “Looking at this from another angle though, I’m thinking the water availability and sufficiency might be because males don’t really need much water while we use water more. After all, many guys just shake their ‘John Thomas’ after peeing, then return it to its place and continue their journey. So, the water in their restroom will almost remain untouched by the time we’ve used up the water in the ladies’ as most females use water more often than not whenever we use the restroom.”

“I can’t agree with you more on that. However, that’s where maintenance comes in because I believe there are people whose duties include making sure water is provided either by pumping water or refilling the drums before they’re out of water. I don’t know who they are though, but I think they’re neglecting their duty and we’re the ones at the receiving end.”

“Tonia, you talk as if you don’t know these people are the same everywhere you go, just like MTN; except that they’re unreliable and lazy. The ones in halls of residence will rather watch Zee World or Africa Magic when there’s power than pump water, as though they have to hold the pumping machine before it works and it’s not just to switch it on and off when necessary. If you go there to complain about how there’s no water in your block, they’ll boldly tell you to go get water from another block and continue their TV duty as though that’s what they get paid to do; despite the fact that the TV subscription is made from residents’ dues. See, it’s almost time; let’s go for the next class. Their matter is not worth spending time on as they’ll always be that way and nobody will really do anything about it.”