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June is recognized widely as the official month for men’s mental health awareness. Most mental health advocates accuse society’s definition of masculinity as the major culprit behind poor mental health among men. The National Democratic Institute defines masculinity as “social expectations of being a man.”There’s trouble already when the definition of a term hinges on “society’s expectations,” since these expectations shift constantly and are influenced by factors such as religion, tribe, and the economic status of the society in question.

Every June, both professional and self-acclaimed mental health advocates echo the phrase, “It’s okay for men to cry.” But despite how loudly it is said, the acceptance of the idea that men can express emotions beyond anger still varies greatly among different groups. This becomes even more complicated in a diverse environment like the University, where students from various religions, tribes, and socioeconomic backgrounds interact and share spaces daily. Each group brings a different idea of what masculinity should look like, making the mental health experience for male students even more layered and, often, confusing.

Within the University of Ibadan, society’s expectations of men can be clearly observed. Members of male halls of residence are often called upon to wash tanks, male students rush to the rescue during fire outbreaks or robberies at female halls, and men continue to dominate the top positions in the Students’ Union, usually without much contest from the other gender.

While these expectations might appear admirable on the surface, they come with their consequences. For instance, one male hall of residence is regularly mocked as the “Great Hall of Princesses” because they are provided more comfort compared to others. But perhaps more telling is how male students on campus view emotional expression. A few weeks ago, when a popular celebrity cried at his best friend’s wedding, many UI male students took to X (formerly known as Twitter) to express disgust, mocking his behavior and questioning his masculinity.

The unspoken rule? Men don’t cry

Suppressing emotions (everything except anger, that is) may seem like the “manly” thing to do, but it is not without its cost. Dr. Elsig, in an article from Clada Clinic, noted that emotional suppression can lead to depression, anxiety, and other stress-related illnesses. There is also the old wise saying; a problem shared is half-solved. Yet, when men believe they must bottle up their fear, sadness, and academic struggles to appear strong, they are less likely to seek support.

That said, this article doesn’t seek to dismiss the progress already made. While some forms of emotional expression are still seen as shameful (or labeled “fruity”), others are gradually gaining acceptance, especially among younger generations and college students. Local influencers and role models are now encouraging men to embrace their softer side, not as a threat to masculinity, but as a vital part of being whole. Webinars, X-spaces, and other conversations are held regularly (even beyond Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month) to shed light on men’s emotional well-being. Today, there are even mentorship programs and scholarships dedicated solely to supporting men.

Overall, it seems society’s expectations of men are slowly evolving, especially here at the University of Ibadan. Maybe by the time all the archaic men graduate in this final year set or the next, all the men left in UI will be willing to express emotions other than anger. Maybe not at the level of crying in public, but at least to say without shame, “I’m a man and I’m sad. And I am not ashamed.”

ABOUT CONTRIBUTOR

Grace Ohagwu is a 500-level Pharmacy student, part-time writer, and champion of sustainable practices in her leisure time.