One minute of patience, ten years of peace” is the supposed summary of the teachings of the Council of Elders. Although students like the rest of us, but elevated by grace. Accomplished elder brothers and sisters in our halls and faculties who were exalted into a class of their own after years of pandering to the powers that be.
Satire
7th Week: I’m Still Technically Homeless on Campus
Anyway, that’s been my situation. How have you all been? I know I might sound sad and bitter, but this is actually me happy and excited. I hope things have been just as great for you as they’ve been for me.
Listen Fool, I’m a Bloody Politician!
By: One of Us I am the vice that brings dark clouds to hide the sunshine of the campus society. I am that beast, the one who laughs at you when you cry; the one who fills up his bank account while you starve. I am of the worst kind. […]
The State Of Yoo-Hi As A Heavenly Tussle
By: Concerned Record Keeper We came to understand the power that we had when we were pushed to the wall. A deadline had been set for us to pay up the sacrifice the gods claimed we owed them. As though, being on this land and using it was not a […]
In Service Of A Poor University
The day has started. I should go to the office, but instead I’m off to London. One of the members of my team just got appointed as a member of a certain society, and I obviously have to be there. I am of the opinion that it is only […]
A Call For The Defense of Football Monopoly
By: Ochi, Maduabuchi A moment of silence for one of the greatest sports to ever grace the face of this planet. Because let me tell you, if we don’t fight to protect it, very soon it would become one of those other sports that supposedly exist within UI, like volleyball, […]
To Be Fresh, Crisp and Unconventional
By – Benedict Ugor Gee! You made it into the premier University. An institution, which is numerically not only the fess, but in no uncertain terms the bess. Factually, ‘Ibadan‘ is first in sub-Saharan Africa, sixth in Africa, and shortly to be seen the first in the world. Congratulations, congratulations, […]
Buga Like Mr Presido
By: Linus Nice Ehen! E don happen. Nah the tori I bring come. The perfect opportunity don land. Literally smash your academic goals like eggs, while bending to collect bucks. Believe me, the whole process is smooth and seamless, and its end, you will buga like a President would. Sit […]
Soft Tips for Academic Excellence as an ‘High-don’
By Ayeye Toluwalope ‘E don happen! My hand dey on top my head, and I know say true true, kasala don burst. Who send me message?’ This is precisely the position my roommates want me to be in, but I don shock them. Lolzz. They don’t get it, emi idan; […]
Being a Nigerian House Agent—In Six Simple Codes
[REPUBLISHED] By: John ‘Dare Okafor One of the most underestimated professions in Nigeria is being a house agent. Majority of you think all we do is just to rent a small shop close to the road, get a small rectangular blackboard, with a few chalk sticks, and touches of a small fine […]