Preacher: Lord Whistledown

Text: The Gospel according to St. Zeek 2:33 

I am the voice of one that cries in the Quadrangle, heed my voice. For I have not come to abolish the tradition, but I have come to fulfill them. 

The strength of a society lies in its traditions. Traditions have been an integral part of the faith of the  Hindy Village. Traditions are strong like the fufu at the Hindy Hall Cafe; they give strength to the man, to the society, and to the nation. Traditions give structure to chaos; they add shape to nothingness,  and they give life to dry bones. 

The book of Aro chapter 20:3 says and I quote: 

And Men shall gather at the evening of the day, and raise their voices at the women of the land. And the Land shall be filled with Joy. For I, the Lord of the land shall fill their souls with wine. 

The Aro tradition has been one of the pillars of the great Hindy Village. It has brought men of the village together and made women of neighboring villages laugh. The Aro Culture has given men a  voice, has handed them power, and has taught women humility. However, these traditions must evolve with time, like the dishes of the Beyllo Village Cafeteria. Mind you, I will never do such as preach the abolition of the tradition like the Pharisees and Sadducees of the new world. St. C-block  said in the Scripture about these Pharisees that 

For they teach men to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. They say unto men you can have a voice but you cannot Catcall. They tell men to be obedient but to neglect the traditions. They spread the lies of the new world and the heresy of common sense. They are agents of destruction and they  shall bring nothing but calamity 

Unlike the Pharisees of common sense, I – through this sermon – intend to preach the unadulterated  Aro gospel, as given to me by the Spirits. Today, we shall observe together how you can catcall in a  way that pleases the gods. 

POINT 1 – Aro, but with Gender-Equality 

Society, as it is, is biased toward women. Men are often denied the pleasure of catcalling and the joys that come with it. I read in a survey by the Religious Society of Hindy Village that only about 2 in 10  males experience the joys of catcalling. As a tradition that is built on the ideals of the gospel and the principles of equality, it is a gross misdeed to the culture. It is only right that all our fellow brethren partake in the catcalling as much as the privileged women from neighboring villages. 

In compliance with the Aro scriptures, the village may need to make up for the inequality by reigniting the last breakfast – a tradition dedicated solely to shading men in the glory of masculine voices. It is only a gender-equal Aro that can please the Lord; an Aro that reminds men of their shrinking manhoods and their baldness. The village needs an Aro that sincerely ridicules men with shrinking muscles; one that allows the less privileged male to experience greatness as much as the females. An  Aro that pleases the Lord disregards female privileges; for all humans are equal before the creator. 

POINT 2 – Aro, but make it the Raw Truth 

The gospel according to St.Zeek chapter 2vs30 says 

For ye shall speak the truth in your Aro, and the Truth Shall set you free 

The village is filled with men that are not proud of the gospel and their tradition, mostly due to the fear of persecution. To maintain the sanctity and the sacredness of the Aro tradition, the catcalling must be raw and done in full verbal glory. It must have all the elements in the scriptures: slut shaming, body shaming, jest, emotional abuse, you name it. Recipients of the great ritual have to feel its intensity in its full glory. 

Children of the light have to learn how to call a prick a prick. When you see a slack bossom, be like the Apostles of old, call it a slack bosom. When you see a big behind in its full glory, call it what it is.  Always use your rawness and your truth to glorify people. For it is only through the truth that we can find power and strength and experience the full glory of the ritual peculiar to the Aro chant. 

POINT 3 – Next Level Aroism 

Aroism rhymes with heroism doesn’t it? As we are nearing the end times, it is pertinent that the tradition evolves to the next level – actively saving men and women from their folly. How does that work?  You need to take the gospel of Aroism to the streets of the Nation. Spread the word and do the deed everywhere. In the departments, in the faculties, at the cafeterias, and on the fields of play.  Remember that there is no such thing as abuse. It is a word coined by pagans to shame the holy rituals of the Hindy Village. 

Finally Brethren 

2nd Sapatians Chapter 2vs 20 says that: Whatever is vile, whatever is loud, whatever is funny, whatever tickles your fancy, if anything is despicable and ridiculous – think and act on these things. To make the kingdom, you must always hold fast to these teachings and teach others (your youngers) to live as it is written. 

Let not this book of teachings of the mount depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day  and night, and act according to the words therein